Ugh

It is always hard trying to get out the door for a retreat -- and today was no exception.

I woke up later than I meant to, knowing I'd barely make it to Mass, but was still going to try. Until I came down to the kitchen to find doggie diarrhea all over the kitchen floor. I rolled my eyes, sent a sigh heavenward, and cleaned it up. Enter gag reflex. Repeatedly. Gross. Too late for Mass now, I blow dried my hair. Shuddered a few times. And then set up my computer and got to work by 7 am at the kitchen table, trying to take advantage of an uninterrupted hour or two before heading into the office.

The day at the office was fine. Average even. Busy. Meetings. Logistics. Phone calls. Scheduling. Oversharing. Laughing. Beating head against wall. Just your average fine day at the office. Except that I ended an accounting meeting just before 5, and then had a buttload of stuff to do to prep for the managers meeting tomorrow and the tax meeting Monday. Sigh. The long and short of it is that it was long. 14.5 hours without a break long. And never done long. But I finally leave, deciding I have done enough and just need to get out. I had to Meijer to get rawhides, snack food for the car, and something else I forgot. I stumble in the door exhausted, starving, thinking about whether or not I need to do any laundry before my trip, and am greeted by a bad smell. Oh yeah. Round 2 covering the kitchen floor. Ewww. Somehow I was exhausted enough to not even realize how bad it smelled and didn't even have the gag reflex. It felt like par for the course today somehow.

But I am going. Tomorrow morning. Early. I am walking away, leaving work at work, leaving the dogs with Jenny (and many prayers for a complete recovery so she doesn't have to deal with the sickness), and I'm going on retreat. A silent retreat. Every year, as this weekend approaches, I realize just how much I crave silence in my life. So I'm going, leaving it all behind. Running to the One, the Source, for refreshment and peace. For calm in the midst of the storm. For grace to carry on and live the life He calls me to. Come Lord Jesus.

NO11

A good family friend of ours is becoming a priest this spring. I am very very happy for him! However, I was surprised to get a voicemail asking me if I would be interested in helping plan his ordination events. Keep in mind, I've known this guy for my whole life. He's a close friend of the family, but I can't say he's a close personal friend. He and I don't keep in touch or hang out or anything. But we have history. Deep family history. And then I got this voicemail asking if I would be interested in helping to plan his ordination reception and events.

Um. I was floored. Why me? Then I thought of my dad, who keeps in very close touch with this friend, and suddenly this smelled of KC. I called to berate him and he said it was the lovely deacon's idea. "Reenie is good at organizing. Maybe I'll give her a call." Still fishy if you ask me, but what can you do?

So back to that voicemail. I listened to it twice and groaned. I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that the minute I returned that call, I'd say yes to something -- and probably more than I can really handle right now. Heck, I can't really handle my own life lately, why on earth would I sign up to help someone else? And yet... I knew that the second I talked to him it would be over. I would be signed up.

So I put it off. And was out late a few evenings. And nearly forgot. Until that second voicemail, asking me if I'd be interested in helping plan his ordination events. Oh boy. So I waited 3 more days. And made the fateful phone call.

It was like watching a train wreck about to happen. I started the conversation saying that I was working really hard to not overcommit my life right how. He agreed, "great, yeah, sounds great." And heard myself agree to consider being the "head organizer." Not just on the team, but sure, why not... NO11 FAIL.

HOWEVER, I will give myself like 1/100th of a point because when he emailed to confirm the next step, I said I thought I should wait until after the committee meeting to actually commit to being the lead organizer since then I would know what I was getting into.

Okay, who am I kidding, I won't be able to say no face to face any easier than on the phone. NO11 FAIL.

More Crazylark

Yesterday my mom stopped in at the office after her raw milk pick up, right around the corner from work. Owen came with her, driving. Did you hear that? My little Owen has his learner's permit. It's terrifying and crazy and exciting all at the same time. How on earth is my baby brother old enough to drive though? Yikes.

Where was I? Mama and Owen stopping at the office to say hi. After they left, B looked at me quizzically for a few minutes and said, "So how many kids do you want to have?" I stared right back trying to come up with the answer. He continued, "Fifteen?" Me: "Well, that might be a stretch, but sure. Somewhere in that neighborhood." He looked a little surprised but we both went back to work and I thought we had dropped it.

Hours later, as I was trying to finish things up and go home, L walked over to my desk and says, out of the blue, "Well, if you are going to start having kids, we are going to need a nursery in here!" She was clearly ruffled by the whole idea.

My mind was blown. "L, when I start having kids, you can just replace me."
L, even more ruffled: "No no no no."
Me: "L, I'm not married and I'm not even dating, I'm no where close to having kids. Someday, hopefully, but no time soon. You'll have plenty of notice."
L: "Oh. So... you want to be married before you have kids? You wouldn't want to have some on your own?"

What does one say here? Of course! Not that some people don't raise their children on their own for different reasons, but I certainly wouldn't choose it! I tried to sound calm and affirmed that I want to find the right man and have a family with him. She agreed that it is tough, but thought having them on your own would be okay if you couldn't find the right one. Sigh. I sometimes forget the world I live in. Fascinating.

And yes, I do want 15 kids but I definitely want to have them with someone else -- the right someone. Seems like a good thing to hold out for.

NO11 Progress

I was really burned out this past Sunday (from an overly social and overly busy week)... and managed to say no to a friend I did want to hang out with but realized I was too blitzed to handle it and needed some solitude. Did you get that? I said No. Let's do it another time.

NO11. Oh yeah.

Welcome March

I do love March! Okay, honestly, March in Michigan is still pretty hit and miss -- not all that much better than February weather-wise. But March feels significantly more hopeful. I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. And spring really is just around the corner.

And maybe, by the end of March, we might see a few days of sunshine. I may get to spend half a day outside working on the dismal yard, trimming the rosebush, pulling some old plant stubs from last year. I can certainly start seeds for the garden inside (if I get my act together enough).

Let's not get bogged down by the fact that the yard will be muddy for the entire month, meaning the floor will get muddy pawprints on it. Let's not mention that it will rain, snow, and wintry mix for a couple more weeks at least. Let's not dwell on the fact that even when it isn't raining, snowing, or wintry-mixing, it will be cloudy and gray. Nope. Let's not go there.

Spring is just around the corner! So. so. so. ready.

NO11

Any of you who know me at all or anyone who has ever stumbled across my blog probably know I have trouble saying no. "Hello, I'm Reenie, I can't say no." "Hi Reenie."

This relates very closely with my "Take down the sign Reenie" thing. I can't say no AND people I don't even know randomly pour out their souls to me and want to be my BFF.

Anyway, I'm working on both. I decided 2011 needs to be the year of NO. And, then realized one evening, that if you turned a 2 sideways, it could be an "N" and then my designer friend KFog made this brilliant logo for me.

And here's where you come in... This will be the front of the t-shirt or sweatshirt (can't decide which). But what about the tagline on back??? There are several suggestions floating around already and I'm sure you can come up with more.

"Maybe"
"The nodding of my head does not mean I am saying yes"
"So don't ask"
"Ish"
"Take down the sign Reenie"

I'm also thinking maybe I should get sweatpants with "NO" across the butt too, just for good measure and to be totally klassy.

NO11 probably deserves it's own category on here. I may have to record my successes (too many failures to count already-- did I mention taking my boss's kids home from work a couple weeks ago?). Anyway, here's to NO11. Any and all advice and/or encouragement and/or merciless mocking is appreciated.