God is good

It is too early for actual reflections… but here’s the deal: I AM DONE WITH THE ‘LARK!  It’s such a mix of happy and sad that I can’t sort out. But mostly it feels like sweet freedom. That being said, I like the company, I like most of the people I worked with, and I grew a lot in the last insane 20 months.  But it is also wonderful walking away and moving forward. It was time. I’m already sleeping better and I have this sense of someone handing me my life back. I’m so ready for some margin in my life, some peace, and returning to some kind of balance. God is good. 

I am also SO thankful for a peaceful, amiable, and good end to my days at the ‘Lark. I love those guys and it was great to leave on good terms, with promises to stop in and see them and keep in touch. People are important to me, and I’ve weathered some significant storms with those people and that’s what is hard about walking away.  Anyway, it was great. I know that the fact that I’m going back to work with my dad makes this an easier transition for everyone too – it isn’t just that I was job hunting because I had to get out (though I was), but I am going back to a job I have loved in the past with family. Makes it a lot less personal for my friends at the ‘Lark and thus a lot easier on me. God is good.

So for the next 3 days, I will be enjoying being unemployed and unencumbered. Reveling in the newfound freedom. And then I will start back at ETC with my dad on Wednesday, which I am looking forward to. God is good.

Quick Takes

1. I am exhausted. Quitting is hard work. It was rough telling the bosses, even though they were great about it. It was harder telling all the coworkers I like so much. I tried to tell everyone individually, but forgot the new guy (who I don’t interface with too much). He found out today. Oops. Then I told the really new guy who hasn’t been in the office much. It is emotionally exhausting. Everyone is really supportive, really happy I get to work with my dad again, and really panicky about what they are going to do, which is strangely comforting because one of my bosses makes me feel like I don’t do anything at all. The other boss, by contrast, is down checking in every day and next week is blocking the last couple hours of every day so I can explain everything I know to him… sigh. There’s lots to train, hand off, explain, finish… walk away. I am really happy, really at peace with the decision, and sad at the same time. Change is never easy, even good change. And I’m such a sucker for relationships so walking away is hard.

2. The garden is flourishing in spite of neglect the last couple weeks. The weeds are also flourishing. The chickens love them, so it isn’t all bad. The privacy fence is awesome. Completely awesome. The neighbors now have a picnic table and 2 grills on their side of the fence, so apparently it has inspired us on both sides.

3. The chickens are also flourishing. Suzie is still insane over them, loves to bark and attack the coop whenever they are out and about. I think they like to antagonize her. I am very faithful about latching the roof and so far so good. I still need to put some finishing touches on the nesting box, but I have another 10 weeks ish so no rush. The chickens have also helped me compost… or at least feed all things veggies to the chickens. I am becoming my mother!

4. The grass is not flourishing. It has been very dry and hot. I broke down and watered it a tiny bit yesterday, so you know it looks like straw!

5. Yesterday’s scooping before the grass mowing yielded two dead young robins (bringing our dead bird count to 4 for the year), one dead mouse, and a lot of dog poop. I wish birds were smarter and could look down and remember the last 10 years that they nested in those lovely old pine trees and the number of babies that never made it out of the backyard because they couldn’t fly yet. Alas, until then, the slaughter continues…

6. Right now I am counting down on many fronts… 2 days of weekend… 5 days till my friends leave town again (after being here for an extended visit)… 7 days till I’m done at the ‘Lark… 12 days till I start working with my dad again… 22 days until Cous Long Lake vacation… It’s going to be good- but it is going to be a change-ridden, exhausting few weeks.

7.  This week I got to hang out with one of my dear friends and her adorable kids, including the latest edition. So great. I am so blessed with wonderful friends who have really awesome munchkins.

8. And another day I had dinner at the park with my friends who were in town for a few weeks and their awesome munchkins.

The moral of the story:

Lots of changes in the works.

I am exhausted.

I have awesome friends with really cute kids.

I am blessed.

Project-athon

Tonight starts my Project-athon. Let’s start with a little history…  My job in all of it’s insanity had pushed me to the edge and beyond. And I think I’m pretty tolerant. But I was in a bad place. I cried in my bosses' office. I couldn’t do this any more. I needed my life back. I needed some balance. I needed to stop doing 8 jobs at one time. After getting over his shock when I started crying, he tried everything he could do. He told me to work less hours (right). He said he would hire me an assistant (who is fabulous). He said he wanted me to go on a vacation. Clearly I’m burned out and need a vacation. He’ll even help with a plane ticket. I nodded. I do need a week off, a vacation, some time to recover. “But not now,” he continued. “Obviously not until we get an assistant hired and trained.” Right. You’re having a break down, but wait on that vacation honey.  So I waited. And waited. And waited.  And it is finally here.  And, in spite of the offer of a ticket, what I need more is a week at home to project like a nutcase. I am so behind on everything! Ahhh. Week at home. Done. 

This evening starts that vacation… staycation… Project-athon.  Staycation implies lots of relaxation and exploring pools and museums. This will not be that week. This will be the week of many projects. Of course right now, Friday night, beginning of said vacation, I have three times more projects on the list than I can accomplish. So tonight the task is to prioritize. To make up my project list. My supply list.

Stay tuned. You may get a blow by blow of Project-athon 2012… don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Sometimes it's the little things

Today's phone call of the day...

Me: "xx Insulation, this is Maureen"

Customer: "Hi I'm calling about getting a quote for some spray foam"

Me: "Can you tell me a little bit about your project?"

Customer: "Yeah, I'm looking to spray foam a chevy express van... I'm going to be living in it, well I do live in it..."

Me: "Hang on, let me transfer you to Craig" (I quickly hit the hold button as I burst into tears I'm laughing so hard) I turn the the guys, tears streaming down my face and barely able to choke out what the man wants. Craig cannot believe I am transferring him the call, but it quickly becomes clear I am in no shape to talk to the man. Craig takes the call and leaves the room (sadness). He reported back that he asked no questions but gave him a square foot price for spray foaming his van.

Brian: "That guy needs a froth pack (portable spray foam kit) and a life coach!"

The long and short of it is that 20 minutes later the guy called back. We are apparently the only insulation in town willing to even discuss spray foaming the inside of a van (who knew?). He'd like to get it done before Tuesday when he will be leaving the country for grad school. He wants the van foamed and ready to go for when he returns in January to live in it. Awesome! I'm hoping to get pictures...

Baby steps

On the work front, for those of you who are afraid to ask, last week was good. Peaceful, even. The first week in quite awhile without some sort of crisis to contend with. And though I didn't make it out in the 32 hours I had hoped for (we had Monday off for Memorial day), I made it out at 38 hours, so it could have been much worse.

And while I don't feel caught up or particularly successful these days, it feels a lot more manageable. Leaving by 5.30 pm every day makes me feel a bit more human, like work is part of my life and not my life.

There are other signs of progress, some based on my hard work and ability to see gaps and communicate what needs to happen. It isn't something I will get credit for, but it sure feels good to see some signs of improvement and to know it is a direct result of me being there and my hard work.

There's still a long way to go on so many levels... but this week there was progress and for that I am thankful.

News from The Lark

My goal at the beginning of the week was 48 hours. And I really thought I'd done it when I walked out at 4:15 today... but when you actually do the math, that makes it 49.5 hours. Still... I walked out at 4:15 pm!!!!!! This is huge. Next week is going to be a doozy since a lot of this week was just dealing with crisis and not actually dealing with the day to day stuff... but still, I left at 4:15... and met up with the guys from work. My guys. I love them. We're the "in the office" crew--- the ones with no actual authority who do the daily grind stuff to make the thing work. There's drama -- big drama, big stress, big uncertainty.... and somehow I am in the middle of it all because I know too much, and am intricately involved in all the details, whether I like it or not. And yet the four of usin the office are (attempting) making things churn in spite of it. And Dominick's downtown is open. So I drank a quart of sangria; we laughed, we ranted, we ended a very stressful week on a good note- with sangria and beer. How could you go wrong?

I am blessed. I love my coworkers. And in spite of an insane week, I'm so thankful that we are in it together, we are a team, and we are moving forward. I love my people.

Tally for the week

Hooray!!! I did it, I worked a mere 41 hours this week and it felt great. All I need is a friend to have a baby and get me out of work every Monday to balance out the rest of the week, perfect! I did just decide it was time to go at reasonable times- despite the additional work from one employee leaving and the general upheaval in the office. I walked out the door. NO11. Booyah!

Closer...

My initial plan was to work 48 hours this week-- whittling down from a 55-60 hr average week to something reasonable. Last week was 51.5 hours... and this week was going to be slighly less... Thanks to baby Andrew whose arrival occupied much of Sunday night / Monday morning, I called into work on Monday that I would be napping and would check in later. When I called in, the afternoon meeting I was supposed to have had been moved anyway, so I told them I'd just stay home. I worked from home returning emails and had several calls from the office... but still, it was a 2 hour Monday instead of a 12 hour Monday. Rock on! Tuesday was a nice manageable 9.5 hour day, I left at a nice reasonable time. Made it home in time for a lovely evening walk downtown with a homie. And today, also just a nice 10.5 hour day. It was an insane day- I left my desk a complete disaster, too much to handle tomorrow. But my boss was asking what needed to happen, and I listed a dozen things, ending with a desperate "And I need to go home!" He said, "Great, cut checks and go home." Nice to have some support in that department. I got interrupted 27 more times and had one more impromptu meeting... but I still managed to leave at 6 pm. Slowly but surely making some progress... we'll see how the next two days finish out...

Balance?

Well, the week was far from balanced, but I did finally escape the office after working a mere 51.5 hours (only 1.5 hrs more than my goal). I had to fight for it, especially today. After a frazzling week, I could hardly face going in this morning. But I had an 11:00 meeting scheduled and prep to do for it. My plan was to leave directly after that meeting. Instead it got bumped to 12:00, and as we were meeting, E said he'd have me in his 1:00 meeting to go over some more stuff there. I was very clear- "I'm leaving early." So he said we'd talk my piece at the beginning. Then he got a text asking to move the 1 pm meeting till 2 pm. I looked him in the eye and said firmly, "I won't be here." So he canceled the meeting altogether. And I left the office at 2 pm. Whew.

Maybe next week we'll try for 48 hours ...

And for the count: NO11 Success!!

Accountability

Okay, here's my tally so far:
Mon 15.0
Tue 10.5
Wed 9.5 (ooh look at me with a short day)
----------
35 hours

15 hrs remaining for Thurs / Fri

So if I work my usual 10-11 hr day Thursday, it means Friday has to be nice and short... that's cool.

Also, I am now realizing how insane I am. Here I am practically giddy trying to get out of work at 50 hours... when before the goal was 40... work your 40, do a great job, go home. What has happened to me???

Still searching for balance...

Lately it feels like a losing battle, but I am determined to find some balance again!! Things are crazy this week at The Lark, but maybe crazy things and reshuffling will bring about much needed processes and peace in the long run. Here's hoping anyway. The (latest and greatest) crazy started last week and is far from resolved. What I do know and can say is that it will get crazier before it gets calmer... and I am feeling overwhelmed at the thought. And yet... I am determined that in the midst of crazy I do have to get my life back... or at least make some positive strides in that direction (I know I know, you've heard it all before). That being said, my goal for the week is 50 hours -- and no more. Walk out the door Reenie. Maybe by posting it here (and on the whiteboard at home where Jenny Pink is threatening to hide my keys if I've already worked my 50 by the time Friday comes around) it will help me keep that goal. I'm starting the week by pulling a ridiculously long day today so as to get a bunch of stuff ready for meetings tomorrow. Off to a good start, right? Tally: Monday 15 hours

More Crazylark

Yesterday my mom stopped in at the office after her raw milk pick up, right around the corner from work. Owen came with her, driving. Did you hear that? My little Owen has his learner's permit. It's terrifying and crazy and exciting all at the same time. How on earth is my baby brother old enough to drive though? Yikes.

Where was I? Mama and Owen stopping at the office to say hi. After they left, B looked at me quizzically for a few minutes and said, "So how many kids do you want to have?" I stared right back trying to come up with the answer. He continued, "Fifteen?" Me: "Well, that might be a stretch, but sure. Somewhere in that neighborhood." He looked a little surprised but we both went back to work and I thought we had dropped it.

Hours later, as I was trying to finish things up and go home, L walked over to my desk and says, out of the blue, "Well, if you are going to start having kids, we are going to need a nursery in here!" She was clearly ruffled by the whole idea.

My mind was blown. "L, when I start having kids, you can just replace me."
L, even more ruffled: "No no no no."
Me: "L, I'm not married and I'm not even dating, I'm no where close to having kids. Someday, hopefully, but no time soon. You'll have plenty of notice."
L: "Oh. So... you want to be married before you have kids? You wouldn't want to have some on your own?"

What does one say here? Of course! Not that some people don't raise their children on their own for different reasons, but I certainly wouldn't choose it! I tried to sound calm and affirmed that I want to find the right man and have a family with him. She agreed that it is tough, but thought having them on your own would be okay if you couldn't find the right one. Sigh. I sometimes forget the world I live in. Fascinating.

And yes, I do want 15 kids but I definitely want to have them with someone else -- the right someone. Seems like a good thing to hold out for.

That Elusive Balance

This weekend I am pondering how to find balance again.

Work, though I love it, is nuts. There are not enough hours in a day for me to accomplish everything there is to do. And I am having a really hard time trying to figure out what to do or not do. How to keep it all straight. What my priorities need to be. etc. I need to ask my boss, but frankly, I'm pretty sure he doesn't know either. I keep thinking it will slow down, I'll catch up, catch my breath. The 2010 books are closed and we're making appointments to do the taxes with the accountant. And I'm a week behind on everything else. And there's those little nagging things I need to find time to do and can't. To top it all off, L is on vacation next week, so somehow I'll need to cover for both of us... ahhhhhhhhhh.

The need for balance is highlighted by the fact that I am coming home on the weekend feeling guilty for things I didn't have time to get done, remembering details I couldn't quite accomplish because I was pulled into meetings or doing the high priority thing from my boss right then.

I've got to find enough balance to get my life back. To leave work at work. To stop dreaming about it. To leave at a reasonable hour. But for the life of me, I can't figure out how...

And, like all my rant about work posts, I am still enjoying it. I like what I'm doing and who I'm doing it with. I just need to find some balance in it.

Take Down the Sign Reenie

I know, another recurring theme... today it was my boss coming into the office early afternoon and begging for someone to take his three girls for the night, he'd had a business meeting he really needed to be at rescheduled for the day he has the girls. He cajoled R, one of the auditors, at length trying to get him to take them. Both J and R gave flat "no". Then he pulled one of those mean sales tactics on me, where he says he feels bad asking me since its too much like piling on... but he really does need someone to watch them... I resisted as long as I could, and then agreed to take them. I know (hangs head in shame), this clearly isn't the balance I'm searching for... but really his girls aren't that bad. Don't get me wrong, the afternoons he has brought them into the office are completely unproductive, but they really are sweet kids.

This foiled my "work from home thursday afternoon" plan, but tomorrow I'm planning to work from home. Though E, the CFO, caught me as I had my arms full of J's kids stuff and said we should meet tomorrow. Ugh. I said I was working at home for at least the morning but heard myself agree to a noon meeting. What is wrong with me? When my boss got the girls tonight (at 9:15 pm), he said to work from home all day and rolled his eyes at the meeting... maybe this means I can skip out... we shall see.

I will also say that I did enjoy the time with John's girls. They are really entertaining kids, ages 10, 8, and 4. The older two are great and the youngest is a pistol but was very well behaved for me. She even fell asleep on the couch before the evening was out.

Besides "kids" is on my February Survival List. So technically I couldn't have said no...

Stories from CrazyLark

I know, you're excited, right? Where does this Favorite Aunt go during the day? What are the people like? Why have we not heard stories about huge staplers or the score on who wants to be her friend more? Well, tonight is your lucky night. And I am going to attempt to do this story justice, although lately my blogging is flat and my storytelling abilities may be ... well... uh... tired, like the rest of me.

Thursday morning started like most others. I groaned when the alarm went off. I slept 10 minutes longer than I intended to. I made it out the door and to Mass (praise God!). I got to the office around 7:30 am, where B and C were already there. (I know, I desperately need code names for my new work peeps). B is an auditor, a couple years younger than me, hilarious, kindred spirit, and good fun to work with. C is mid-forties, the main estimator for the insulation side of the world. He's also a lot of fun, quieter, but fun. Anyway, the three of us typically arrive and try to get some work done before all the interruptions begin. And then, just before 8 am, Boss2 enters, beaming, with a toolbox in hand. We do these tests called CAZ (Combustion Appliance Zone) that require a smoke puffer or smoke stick. When we got some equipment stolen a few weeks back, one of the smoke puffers was also stolen. And then R was gone with the smoke devices we did have. So there was a scramble for a smoke making device the day before, which apparently got Boss2 thinking...

So he opens this tool box, where he's cut foam to hold all the specific tools. Grinning from ear to ear, he goes through them one by one. "Here's your pen, and your mini flashlight, and your maglight..." He pulls out the large maglight, turns it on, points it around the room. "And then..." He unscrews the lid on the large maglight, removes the bulb, and starts screwing in two wires, that are connected and have some kind of connectors on the ends. Hmmm.

Boss2 goes on, "What flavor smoke would you like? Sage? Rosemary? Cedar?" I'm already too amused to be trusted to speak. B calls for sage. Boss2 takes a piece of this sage chip he's got, sticks it between the contactors on top of the wire that are now sticking out of the top of the maglight. "Ehh???" More grinning. He turns it on. Seconds later, the sage begins to smoke and makes a perfect smoke stream that smells kind of like thanksgiving dinner. He was so excited, and the others of us couldn't help our amusement. Boss2 admitted he started the project at midnight. Oh boy.

A few minutes later, another coworker comes in... and he repeats the show. Starting again with the large maglight used as a flashlight. And then impressed the next guy with his brilliant invention. This time I couldn't help giggling. By the third show, B and I sat at our desks, laughing so hard we had tears streaming down our faces. Seriously? Boss2 didn't mind our amusement, but clearly didn't understand why it was so funny.

To be honest, the regular smoke puffers have all kinds of warning about cancer and the dangers of the smoke. And his puffer smoke does smell better. Is it a little far fetched? Absolutely. Will we use it? Sure. Did it provide a highly entertaining Thursday? No doubt about it.