Ten Minutes on Tuesday

I’m not sure choosing the last waking 10 minutes is really going to get you good reading material, but here goes. It is Tuesday. Mid November. The election has come and gone. I wasn’t thrilled with the big name outcome – and yet, I can’t help but get frustrated at all the doomsday predictions. God is still God, He is still on the throne. We have work to do as His Church, but presidents come and go, and God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. I’m sticking with that. And there ends my political thoughts for the time being.

Change is a funny thing. It is inevitable. The only thing you can depend on is that life will continue to change. And change stretches and challenges me. Maggie is reacting to the change in our house (her favorite roomie getting married and moving out) by stealing food and peeing in the house. Awesome. We’ve been having a lot of serious discussions about whether or not she’d like to spend the rest of her life in a cage. And I’ve gotten the mousetraps back out. Change. And somehow Maggie’s absolute resistance to change reminds me to learn to deal more gracefully with change in my own life. My impulses aren’t much different- I hate change, and though I still pee in the appropriate locations, I loathe it, fear it, and generally take a long time adjusting to it. Sometimes having your dog mirror your own behavior is a good reminder to shape up… (think metaphor here).

The weather has changed. Sunday it was nearly 70 degrees and BEAUTIFUL and today there was ice on my morning walk. Brrr. I had to get out the winter coat at last and I am slowly resigning myself to the fact that spring is over, summer is over, and fall is very nearly over.

I have been sewing up a storm lately!! After that quilt top in a month (and no, I have gotten no further), I had to do something… so I just finished 13 Pajama Eaters (pattern here) which are for my nieces and nephews for Christmas. They were a fun project for me, a good creative outlet, and here I am in mid November with a bunch of my shopping done! Not to mention that it was mostly a stash busting project—I had to buy some stuff to make them, but mostly I got the fabric out of my stash anyway. And I seriously don’t know how I’ve managed to make 13 of them in just 5 weeks! Especially with everything else going on.

Part of the everything else is that I’ve been in Monroe once or twice a week visiting my grandma in rehab and spending time with Grandpa. I love those people. And it’s been fun seeing aunts, uncles, cousins, and other characters during my visits. Family is such a gift!

I am also teaching 2^nd grade religious ed at my parish. I have wanted to teach for a few years, but with the job as it was, it just wasn’t possible. I’m enjoying my class, preparation for first reconciliation and first Eucharist—but they are definitely a squirrely bunch and keep me on my toes.

And with that, I’m off to bed. Happy Tuesday!

Moments of Tranquility

A few days ago I loaded the dogs in the CRV and we headed for one of our favorite spots, the country roads just out of town. Mmmm so beautiful.

The less tranquil part of the walk is always these two, who love it as much as me, but don’t seem to appreciate the stillness, the wildflowers, or the moments I want to stop and take pictures. There’s nothing like honing your photography skills by trying to take close ups, in fading light, without a flash, while the dog pulls to go chase a squirrel or tramples the subject of your photo. Gotta love those pups. Well I do anyway. And somehow their enthusiasm just adds to the adventure.

Dogs vs. Chickens

Dogs 1, Chickens 1, Farmer 1

Apparently at some point in the last day or two, the dogs had enough time in the yard to rip off one layer of chicken wire in one corner of the coop (point for the dogs). Clearly there had been some serious scratching to damage the wood and rip the staples out in order to free the chicken wire. Sigh. Not sure who the culprit was so I yelled at both. And restapled the chicken wire more securely. And congratulated myself on being so smart as to add a second layer of chicken wire in the first place (point for Reenie).

The chickens get a point because they live their happy chicken existence in spite of the two excited black dogs who keep trying to get in.

Oh Edna

Edna does this a lot these days:

The dogs do this a lot… well actually in a still photo, this just looks interested, in real time there is a lot more whining, barking, howling, jumping, trying to get into the crate.

And Edna just stares them down. 

Real Life Solutions: Epic Fail

Just last week I was just sharing (#smeb) about my Real Life Solution for recycling. And then my roommate came home this past week one evening to find this:

That’s right. That is Suzie, head stuck in an oatmeal container that she fished out of that very recycling solution I was bragging about.

I should explain that Suzie likes to fish out and chew flat milk jugs and plastic juice bottles (a habit I take full responsibility for), so she regularly fishes through the recycling container to see what’s good. Apparently this day she was trying to lick those last crumbs of oat out of this container and got stuck. Really stuck. 

Leslie said she was racing around crashing into walls, furniture, everything. Absolutely nuts. After laughing and taking pictures, Leslie rescued her from the predicament. 

A couple hours later I went to the basement to do laundry. What a mess!! The vacuum was knocked over. The borrowed carpet cleaner, knocked over. The laundry basket, knocked over and clean laundry strewn acros the floor. Ironing board toppled and laying on it’s side. My first thought, of course, was that I’d just been watching a crime show where someone’s house looked similar… and then I realized the basement gate had been left open that day and Suze had been tearing around the house desperate to get out of that oatmeal contained, and probably even more terrified as she ran through knocking stuff on to herself.  Oh Suzie. 

There you have it. The irony of Real Life Solutions at the Homestead.

One Dog, Two Dogs, Old Dog New Dog

No, I did not get a new dog. But here’s a perfect example of how things are around here between the old dog and the middle-aged dog (the one just outgrowing her puppyhood at age 7).  After a two mile bike ride, the Old Dog heads straight for the castle, finds herself a spot in the cool dirt in the shade and doesn’t move again until dinner is served. And then crashes in her bed for the remainder of the evening.

The other dog tears into the yard after the ride and immediately takes a dunk in the pool, drinking and swimming in a circle.

And then laps the yard. And laps it again. And barks at an oncoming dog, lapping the yard again.

And plays with her ball. Chasing it all over the yard.

 

And goes back in the pool for more drinking and swimming.

And finally she begs to be let into the house so she can rub her soggy self all over me in great excitement and affection.

There is no moral to the story. Maggie loves her bike rides but can barely last two miles. Suzie, on the other hand, does best when we go for a second loop on the bike after dropping the old dog at the house. Although the anguished howls of the old dog being left behind are really pathetic- even when she can barely walk!

There you have it, one dog, two dogs, old dog, new dog…

Old photos

Here’s one to go with my reminiscing… I know, going through photos of me as a child (and an adult too) is like visiting that awkward family photos website. Still… here’s me and my first dog: Holly.  The one that inspired the next two black lab mutts.  Holly really was the greatest dog ever (shhh, don’t tell Maggie I said that). 

More punishment

It sure didn't take Maggie long... without the bathroom garbage to eat and no more prescription drugs within reach...

Thursday night, Geno, Lucy and Jane came for the evening. Just before leaving they changed into PJs and loaded their clothes into the same bag and then forgot the bag on the way out the door. Oops. Thinking I'd just leave it there in the hall lest their mother decide to pick it up while I wasn't home, I unwittingly provided the next phase of the punishment: Eating children's toothbrushes and an unopened box of mac and cheese.

My roommate Leslie was the one to find the growling Maggie, standing over the empty mac and cheese box (no sign of noodles or any trace of a cheese packet) and some chewed up toothbrushes. Apparently Maggie doesn't like the toothpaste though, because after a good chomp, she decided to leave the rest. We wouldn't want to destroy things AND have good breath.

And the punishment goes on...

Homecoming

No homecoming is complete without Maggie punishing me for being gone. Mind you, she barely notices that I was gone. Her BFF Leslie was around and taking care of her all week, but my homecoming did inspire a stand up hug when I first arrived (it usually takes me being gone for at least 3 days to merit a Maggie hug). Suzie was close to wetting herself with excitement but we managed to make it outside just in time. She is beside herself happy to see me and have me home. She’s shadowing my every move and licking me every chance she gets (lovely).

I should mention that the housemates much prefer dealing with Maggie, especially in my absence. Suzie is the world’s neediest critter and as much as she loves everyone, she is most certainly MY dog and she is a mess when I am gone. Maggie, on the other hand, is her usual stand-off-ish, only-wants-a-moment-of-your-time bitch. Easy. 

Anyway, we got through my first evening home without a hitch. I tasked around the house a bit, fell asleep on the couch in spite of the licking, and I was lulled into a false sense of security.  The next morning I came downstairs to find this:

That’s right, Maggie stole Leslie’s prescription drugs out of her purse, chewed the bottle to pieces, and left them on the front rug for me to find – Thanks Mag, I get it, you don’t appreciate me leaving.

That very evening, in an attempt to curb Maggie’s other current punishment trends, I stopped at Target and bought a trash can with a secure lid for the downstairs bathroom. I decided it simply wasn’t worth fighting that fight, or finding more half eaten trash. So. Not. Worth. It.

And now, for exactly $13, I have peace of mind that Maggie is done with the disgusting bathroom trash eating disgusting habit and will now have to spend her energy thinking up new and unpleasant punishments for me… Welcome home Reenie.

Sci-fi dog?

Here's Suzie getting home from the vet yesterday:

How gross and weird looking is that? They put this dye in her eyes to check for ulcers and scratches on her actual eyeball (eww). And this pic was after the vet wiped her up quite a bit. The good news is that her eyes are clear- other than the allergy itchiness, but still, she came home looking like this. She looks like something out of some sci-fi horror flick. Or maybe my recent reading of the Hunger Games trilogy has gone to my head...

And here's where my paycheck this week went:

Oh Suzie.

Munchkin Time (aka Teaching Important Life Skills)

Saturday morning three of my favorite kids arrived bright and early bearing some beautiful fall mums, donuts for breakfast, cheerful smiles, and overnight bags. There's a recipe for a good weekend.

One of our projects was to set up the guest room. Since Elana moved out, it's just a mostly empty room with curtains that don't match. Which simply won't do. The blue floral curtains looked great when the walls were light blue, but the bright green doesn't work with them. Sigh. Enter Meijer clearance shelf. There they were, chocolate brown curtains marked down to $10 each and then an additional 25% off. Perfect. So I bought three panels (two for the windows, 1 for the closet). I had also gotten a daybed frame off craigslist a few weeks ago to house the mattress that's been on the floor in there for quite some time. So this morning Jane and Lucy and I put the guest bedroom together (or as Jane calls it "our new room"). We put the bed frame together, added the mattress, took down the old curtains and put up the new ones. And there are now about 30 stuffed animals living in the dresser. Jane was a little concerned though, "Aunt Reenie, the closet is still empty. We have to put something in there!" She was also very proud of herself for arranging her teddy bear to sit in the corner of her new room. Perfect.

In addition, Lucy learned what I deem to be an Important Life Skill. Under my careful tutelage, she removed the old broken electrical plate cover and installed the new one. She was clearly digging the project and stood back to admire her handiwork. "That looks SO much better." I did tell her that no matter where she goes and what she does in life, it is always important to know how to replace switch plates. There we go, teach niece important life skill, check!

Sunday got even more exciting. Two more nephews arrived to join in the fun. And Elijah from next door came for pretty much the whole afternoon. I even managed to get a few things done while everyone was playing, well a few things beyond enjoying the beautiful sunny warm weekend and the very entertaining company.

Suzie got a TON of love all weekend. She's horribly itchy again (after a couple weeks of fooling me into thinking things were improving). Every few minutes one of the kids would scritch scratch her and call excitedly "Look, I got her leg is going" as her leg would twitch and try to scratch. It's a great game and nearly qualifies as yet another Important Life Skill-- but not quite (especially when every inch of this dog is an itchy mess right now). By the end of tonight, Suze was tired and ready for some space. Being followed and loved every minute of a weekend does get a little exhausting, even for a dog as needy as the Suze.

Maggie, in her own right, earned points this weekend. She now lets Geno order her around (some anyway), will take treats gently out of the kids hands without growling, played several rounds of the "down stay treat" trick with Jane, and was generally okay with the kids all weekend. Look at Maggie finally acquiring some Important Life Skills. We barely had to shut her in the basement (except for today, because let's be honest, even with a good weekend going, 6 small (and very unpredictable) kids would have blown that out of the water).

Overheard:
Lucy: Geno, here's something to chop people's heads off with.
Geno: Oh thanks Lucy!

Jane: Shiny has a lovely big house. Shiny is a very lucky dinosaur.

Lucy, what is that?
It's a decoration.
Lucy, battles don't have decorations.
Geno, it's a Castle not a Battle.
The battle is going to happen at the castle. Argh.

Jane: "Can I be done? ... Wait (correcting herself), it's May. May I be done?"
Lucy: "It's not May, it's OCTOBER! heh heh heh"
We've got another punster on our hands. Those Cous genes run strong. :)

Here's my list of accomplishments -- not up to my usual weekend standard, but not bad considering (and yes, this list is for me not you-- seriously, why are you still reading? get a life already):
scoop & mow backyard
pick stuff from garden
bake bread
feed kids all 3 meals (clean up after all three meals) each day
oven roast tomatoes (some for dinner, 1 bag for the freezer)
sweep the entire first floor
clear roadtrip crap from dining room table
put an extra dinner in the freezer for later
clean the downstairs bathroom
bathe the dog
set up the guest room (mentioned above)
read a lot of short stories
Sam's club run
clean up toys, books and crayons (numerous times)
wash (but not fold) two loads of laundry
water the house plants
cut the girls hair
soak in the gorgeous weather

As if life wasn't stressful enough...

Today I walked in the door and the big dog growled and cowered. Crap. Back to that again? Only this time it wasn't anything off the counters (thank you month of mouse trapping, thank you). Nope, it was the bathroom garbage... chewed to pieces all over the living room rug. A first for us. Awesome. A new obsession. I am certainly willing to take some responsibility in this- I have been neglecting the big dog (and the little dog) something terrible lately. But it couldn't be helped. And seriously? We're taking revenge on my poor tired self by eating the bathroom garbage? Gross. There has got to be a better way. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Dogs are gross. There's simply no getting around that.

And strangely, there is something comforting about coming home to a gross dog moment. There's enough high level stress in my life right now that coming home to that was strangely comforting (though gross). Okay, someone commit me. I just admitted that on my blog. Oy. Maybe I'm more exhausted than I thought.

Dog Woes

The big dog has gotten back into stealing food... and seriously nothing (well at least nothing dog-wise) makes me madder than walking in the door to her cowering and growling at me, knowing she got into something. Sure enough, there's ALWAYS a chewed up bag on the living room rug. In the past, once this has started, she goes on a spree of getting in trouble every day until I rudely nip it in the bud by mousetrapping everything. It usually only takes once or twice of setting a trap off and freaking her out to get her to stop for a year or more. This time, I brought on this rash of bad behavior. I accidently left a bag of groceries on the floor- they were mostly boxed groceries for vacation- but Maggie discovered it and ate through a box of graham crackers... and she's been on this food stealing binge ever since.

Last night I put my new loaf of bread on the counter, in a hard to reach spot, and put a mousetrap in front of it. Usually enough to scare her away. But instead I came home to a growling dog, a chewed up, empty bread bag on the living room floor... and once again had to reiterate that she may spend the REST OF HER LIFE IN A CAGE IF THIS KEEPS UP!! Gosh it makes me mad.

And tonight I recognized that I let it make me too mad and needed to reign in my own reaction. It was a loaf of bread. I knew the risk, even with the mousetrap. I will still win this fight, even after a setback. Maggie will stop stealing food. I can stop coming home dreading what I'm going to find. And life will go on. Deep breath, Reenie, deep breath.

And boy I wish I could say this was the only thing that has gotten me worked up lately...

Enjoying the scenery...

Embracing our inner selves

The dogs and I took a delightful walk on this beautiful Sunday afternoon. I love to drive out about 10 minutes from town onto the dirt roads and we walk there, surrounded by farms, nature, and beauty. Truly music to my wanna-be-farmer soul.

Suzie is a lab mutt. We don't actually know what breeds she is-- but she is black and resembles a lab (though much smaller than your average black lab). I suspect she may have some terrier or other sporting dog as well, but no one actually knows her exact lineage. In the past, Suzie has enthusiastically gone puddle plopping only when she's really hot (usually when we're in the middle of a hot bike ride). Then I introduced that kiddie pool (aka the puppy puddle) last summer, which got a lot of use from both the visiting munchkins and Suzie.

Suddenly, on a similar country roads walk a few weeks ago, it's like it all clicked and Suzie fully embraced her inner lab like never before. Every single puddle we passed was tromped through, plopped in, laid in, lapped up. This was one happy lab. Today was no different: every single puddle and roadside swamp and flooded field and mucky ditch was thoroughly enjoyed. It's like this irresistible pull now that she's discovered and embraced the lab within. (Thankfully today I had the backseat of the car covered unlike last time).

Maggie, on the other hand, does not embrace her inner lab. She is also a lab mutt but I suspect there is a lot of shepherd in her. She only plops into a puddle when it is really, really hot or she's really winded from a bike ride. She spent the walk mostly walking down the center of the road, occasionally walking daintily into a puddle, up to the top of her legs, taking a few drinks, and then calmly walking back out. She barely gives the time of day to her inner lab, it is probably too risky for her- what if embracing her inner lab made her more friendly (gasp!). At least Maggie resisting her inner lab makes for a much drier and cleaner dog at the end of the walk.

And me? This week, I am determined to embrace my inner human. I am trying to set realistic expectations for myself and draw reasonable limits. This is big for me. I actually think it might be easier for me to embrace my inner lab, diving into large puddles and getting muddy. Instead, I am consciously embracing my inner human, fraught with human frailty, limitations, and sin, and allowing the One who can lift us higher to do the rest. Come Lord Jesus!

A boy and his dog... well, my dog

This is a boy who absolutely loves my dog. I've mentioned it before, the affection between the two of them, the full body tackle when Suzie goes flying off the porch to greet him (which he loves somehow), and that he considers Suzie part his dog (and reminds me of that on a regular basis).

Anyway, this particular day the kids were over for a haircut and some crafting. Good times. At the end, we decided to take a walk to the park. Of course we took Suzie and Geno wanted to "walk" her. Now, I should say I work on training my dogs, but Suze definitely pulls. And frankly she probably weighs as much as he does, so I think it is unwise to just hand over the leash, knowing it could end in a skinned knee for the boy or the dog running loose down the street.

Once we got to the park, the boy was disappointed no one else wanted to run up and down the hills with him. Since it was grass and Suze needed a good run, I handed her over, reminding Geno that she will pull when she's running. It was hilarious. He'd run down the hill with her, and at one tug, he'd throw himself on the ground, football tackle style. Then grinning, pick himself back up, and run again till the next tug, when he'd throw himself back on the ground, laughing and then Suzie would run over to lick his face with delight.

Clearly they were enjoying it! And I'm not sure about the boy, but the dog arrived home nicely worn out.

The Love Sponge

Jenny Pink explaining the facts of life to Suzie the Love Sponge. "See Suzie this is nice. I like it when you aren't wrapping your head around me. I think I've discovered our problem Suzie. You're an affection thief Suzie. Which means it isn't freely given, which means it isn't really love."

I am pretty sure Suzie doesn’t get it.

Here she is making out with Uncle Owen. He was forced to protect himself after a couple french kisses from the Love Sponge. 

News of the day

It is a gorgeous evening at the homestead. After a couple weeks of oppressive humidity and hot weather, it cooled down today to what I consider a perfect summer temperature, with a nice breeze. So we turned the AC off and we are back to life as it should be, windows open, breeze wafting in, three dogs in peace and harmony (yes, I'll explain about a third dog), and a moment to sit down before starting my evening tasks. Oy.

So... this mysterious third dog. You got another dog Reenie? Really? No. I did not get another dog. The homestead is now and will remain a two dog household for the foreseeable future. However I am not good at saying no, as you may remember. Sigh. So some friends have a friend staying with them. He just got a job in the area while his wife and kids are packing up and selling the house in Florida. Turns out he needed to drive up with the dog last week and was desperate for a place for her to stay with a fenced yard. The mutual friend he is staying with has a huge unfenced yard, not ideal for this pup. I said I would be okay with it for a week or two (or so I thought) if this dog got along with Maggie. Maggie is a very dominant bitch. There's just no way around it. Some dogs won't back down, which causes there to be fighting because Maggie will not back down. ever. So I said if the meet up went fine, we'd house his dog for a few weeks.

The meet up was okay. Maggie was her usual growly, territorial self, and this little dog rolls right over submissively. No fighting, just immediately admitting to Maggie's superior bitchiness. That first day Dallas was uber submissive and rolling over constantly for both of my dogs- even Suzie of no backbone. She was mousey and quiet and unsure. She had just been in the car for 22 hours coming up from Florida. And then... the real Dallas got going the next day. We call her Spasto-dog. She is everywhere all the time. Barking. Weaving between your legs. Wanting to play. Wanting to piss off Maggie. Moving shoes around the house. Not listening to a blessed word we say. Sigh. She is awfully cute but clearly needs a lot of training. So for the next couple weeks, she's introducing chaos into our lives. And then she will leave, and it will be so blissfully quiet and well trained around here we won't know what to do with ourselves.

Also... today was one of the best Mondays I've had in awhile. It's amazing how some great news scattered throughout the day can perk up even a very busy Monday at work. Since this is the interwebs, I will be vague-ish and just say the following:
-- Two friends I've been wanting to date for a long time now started dating last night. Eeeeee. So stinking excited (and not just because Lindsey and I are such awesome matchmakers).
-- I get to see my good friends who live out of state this week, a couple times even!! Gosh I miss living in the same state! I'm thrilled to pack a couple visits into a busy trip for them. And have I mentioned they come with four beautiful munchkins that I love?
-- I'm loving life here at the Nichols Homestead. I have two fabulous housemates-- both no-drama, fun, great ladies. Evenings when we are home are low key and delightful. God is good. And they put up with my scattered life, being behind on everything, and the random annoying dog staying here for weeks at a time. God is good!!
-- I get a new to me car in two weeks. It's my aunt's Honda CRV, my long time dream car. Imagine the things I can haul in that lovely vehicle! Two dogs and a crate at the same time! Lumber. It even has a trailer hitch!
-- Two weeks from today two of my friends and I will climb into said new car and head west on a road trip adventure to visit Kate and Mark at their new digs in Washington State and stopping to see lots of friends along the way. I can't wait! What an adventure! And looking forward to that trip has made saying good bye a little easier-- oh not easy, it definitely wasn't pretty, but better to say "see you in a month" than just plain good bye. Not to mention my love of road trips (I know, I can still do that-- I don't have munchkins in tow).

Okay, that's the latest. Happy Monday to all of you!

Backyard Nudity

It all started with the purchase of this fabulous kiddie pool for $3 at a garage sale while I was garage saling with a friend with a van (very important since even $3pools don't fit into my car). I got it as a puppy puddle since the dogs love to find mud puddles to flop in after hot bike rides, and I just thought it would be cleaner and more convenient to just have a small pool they could use. And I'll admit that I figured I do have a lot of small visitors that would also put it to good use. Not to mention those hot days when I just need to lounge in the pool... (jk, I haven't resorted to that just yet).

The dogs weren't really sure about the puppy puddle, I think they prefer the mud. So for the last 6 weeks they have pretty much only gone into it if there is incentive... like treats... floating in there. Then Suze started walking into it to drink while wading. And this week we managed to get all the way to a full scale laying in pool lapping water and cooling off. I guess it takes 95 degree weather and 15 minutes of chasing a ball to adjust to anything. The puppy puddle is finally a success! Anyway, I digress. Where was I? Oh right, the nakedness.

So... the first day I had kids over for a dip in the new pool, a week or two post surgery, some people swam in only diapers, for awhile anyway, until they were too full to stand, at which time they went stark naked. Some preferred nothing at all. The naked swimming digressed to naked running around the yard to naked swinging to naked standing at the fence watching the neighbors in their pool. All of this happened while four capable adults had a great visit on the patio, mostly not seeing the naked gawking because of the jungle (garden) between us and them. Awesome. (see, that jungle on the right would make it hard to see the fenceline and the nakedness!)

This weekend we had some more backyard nudity. One niece prefers to strip naked on the patio, not inside where I kept suggesting, but right there on the patio. She did it at least half a dozen times in 3 days... Not to mention today, a hot sunny Saturday, when I had six nieces and nephews over for awhile. Mostly it was playing in the hose and in the pool and an elaborate game on "the ship" and a picnic lunch, also on "the ship." And plenty of nakedness, although today's nakedness was mostly in the form of undies. Although later in the day one girl decided to strip off her suit (on the patio) to wrap in a towel, and then got distracted and climbed the playstructure, leaving the towel below (again, the jungle was obstructing my view). And to end the day on a naked note, the kids were finishing their post dinner popsicles and Ben says "I gotta go potty" and races over to the pine tree to give it a drink- there in broad daylight and in full view of the neighbor's house. Excellent.

Hope your backyard is just as exciting :)

A Little Pick me up

The rest of progress is feeling very slow (coat upon coat of painting cabinet doors... more sanding... more coats of paint) ... s.l.o.w. So today we will just appreciate the comparison...

The old...








And the new...








Pretty great, huh?